Join Jillian (“The Saver) and Adam (“The Spender) for practical advice on how separate “fun money” accounts can help resolve conflict and offer stress-free opportunities to enjoy your money.
Jillian and Adam have spent the last 19 years on their own journey towards healthy marital money conversations. Discretionary spending was a non-issue in their first year of marriage because there wasn’t any extra money to spend!
However, when they had paid down their debt and began to make choices on what to do with the extra money in the bank, Adam and Jillian had some growing to do. Ninety percent of their money fights stemmed from discretionary spending. For Jillian:
“Saving money made me happy. Spending money made me uncomfortable.”
This meant that Adam, who enjoyed the chance to spend, was continually trying to convince Jillian of the need for every purchase. Jillian would see Adam spending, even though it was within their budget, and it felt out of control. Adam never told Jillian not to spend; Jillian just couldn’t give herself permission.
Creating separate fun money accounts was a key component to helping reduce conflict in their marriage.
“It’s not constantly a negotiation. You’re not constantly trying to sell your idea to the other person.”
Jillian may never understand Adam’s affinity for classic cars, hats, and charging cords. Adam may never understand why Jillian likes to soften her frown lines with Botox. That’s okay. If the money is in their respective account, they can be liberated to spend it as they choose.
Over time, they have both become more balanced in their spending and saving tendencies, and they both recognize that keeping separate fun money accounts has been a continued win for their marriage.