Andrea Robinson, creator of the You Do You journal, is on a mission to empower women everywhere and help them find their confidence.
After being in the TV industry for 15 years, Andrea found herself unhappy with the life she was living. She had a picture in her mind of the perfect family, perfect house, and perfect life. She wanted those around her to see her and her life as perfect. But she found herself going through the routine empty and unfulfilled.
She didn’t come to this realization right away; it was a gradual accumulation of unhappiness piling up. Things in her life and career that were once easy started to become hard. One thing led to another, and the accumulation eventually led her to make a big change in her life.
“The everyday just became so hard. And I felt like I was missing out on more than I was enjoying.”
It all came to a climax one day when she realized how much she wanted her life to be different. Her perfect life was no longer giving her joy and fulfillment. She cried out for something different. She wanted to change, and this was her awakening moment.
Building a Completely New Life is Hard
You have to start with your heart work, and that can be really difficult, because you don’t really see the fruit of it for awhile, and the lack of results and immediate validation can be discouraging.
One day, Andrea woke up and decided to open a journal a friend had given her. She found three questions that gave her a completely new perspective:
What are you grateful for? What am I going to do to make today awesome? What do you love about yourself today?
She had been living her life so robotically, she didn’t even know how to answer them. But she started working on each one. She found blessings in everything, she started changing things up from her robotically repetitive routine, and she started to write down things that she really wanted to love about herself.
She started journaling, found a therapist, and began the work of internal healing. Her therapist taught her the importance of using the word no; it doesn’t mean you have to be negative, but that you are setting healthy boundaries for yourself.
Boundaries are a Gift
“Having boundaries isn’t mean, it’s a gift I can give to other people.”
Jillian emphasizes how important it is that we determine our own boundaries. Because if we don’t, other people decide for us, and it shouldn’t be their job to balance our lives and figure out our boundaries.
Over the course of a year, Andrea began to be at peace with herself and her life.
“I just started to see myself as worthy and loved just who I am—right now.”
Confidence is something that is gained every day. It’s scary to leave what you are fami”iar with and be new to something again. It takes courage.
“Every time I do something that scares me, I earn a new layer of courage and confidence.”
Andrea has to do things that scare her. It’s hard to start over, but confidence is something that will come, we just have to be able to see it. Sometimes it involves a lot of trial and error, but it’s about figuring it out one day at a time and having the courage to try.
Here’s a breakdown of the episode:
[01:14] Andrea was living a “perfect” life, but she found herself feeling completely empty and unhappy. It got to a point where she was tired of it and wanted to change and turn her life around.
[04:54] The internal process starts with the heart work. It’s not an easy process, because you might not see the results for a long time.
[05:41] Andrea remembered a journal a friend had given her, and she opened it. Inside, she found three questions: What are you grateful for? What am I going to do to make today awesome? What do you love about yourself today?
[11:51] The internal work can be really difficult. Andrea found a therapist, and one of the most valuable things her therapist taught her was that it’s okay to say no to things. Saying no doesn’t have to mean anything negative; it means that you’re setting boundaries for yourself.
[14:18] Boundaries are extremely important. In addition to our own boundaries, we can appreciate other people who have boundaries, because we can know that they mean it when they say yes or no.
[16:09] As Andrea began to journal and bring happiness back into her life, she began to feel at peace with herself and gained confidence in her life.
[18:02] It can be really hard to leave the thing you’re good at and embark on a journey chasing something new. Confidence is gained every day, and sometimes there will be rough days. We just have to have the courage to try and take it one step at a time.