Talking with your partner about money can be challenging. Join Jillian and Adam as they share how they navigated the very different money patterns they brought into their marriage on their way to becoming millionaires.
Jillian has noticed a big difference in coaching an individual versus a couple. Going solo, people are naturally more open, but couples tend to be more hesitant. Each person brings baggage into the money conversation, and it needs to be sorted through. This sorting can be more complicated with a spouse or partner. Jillian and her husband, Adam, know from experience.
Jillian grew up in a tiny town where money was scarce in her home. Adam grew up in the big city and had wealthy parents who enjoyed spending money to have fun. So, when they started making money of their own and Adam decided to get their car’s windows tinted, it became a big deal in their marriage.
“When you found out how much it cost, you lost your mind. You were very upset with me for like three days.”
Adam and Jillian had very different set points about spending money that became obvious in the ordinary, everyday living. While one person enjoyed eating out, the other viewed it as a “weird, extravagant luxury.” The money mindsets and patterns that they had each brought into the partnership were becoming more apparent.
“Mindful Money Moments” help us begin to understand how the things we experienced growing up have instilled patterns in our own lives. Adam conformed to what he grew up with. He enjoyed spending money to have fun. Jillian rebelled against the scarcity she experienced by saving as much as possible to abate her fears about financial insecurity.
It took several years for Jillian and Adam to work through their misunderstandings and communication barriers around money. Instead of seeing Jillian as controlling, Adam began to understand that her actions were rooted in her fears. When they had saved their first $20,000, Adam recognized the joy and freedom that Jillian was experiencing. When they had saved $50,000, they allotted themselves a reward of $5,000 in fun money. Now, Jillian began to understand that it was okay to spend sometimes, to have fun.
It’s never too late to unravel the money mindset that we have accepted and decide if it is serving us well. We can question these ideas, and with a little everyday courage and vulnerability, it might be the start of your journey to a million dollars.