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Cultivating Your Values

In this episode, special guest David Cain, writer of the Raptitude blog, talks about the importance of going deeper in our lives instead of wider. 

“The Idea is really to look at what you’ve already got in your life and cultivate the value that’s already there rather than spreading out wider to new pursuits.”

David used the books that we have on our shelves as an example. There may be many books that we own because we thought we would read them all, while it turns out that many of them are ignored. 

Another example is our hobbies; we may pick up a hobby thinking we will get really good at it, and then we let it fade away as we become distracted by other things. 

Instead of expanding and going wider, what if we try and dive deeper into the things we already have?

Caution for the Consumer Culture

Often, the beginning or start of a pursuit is so attractive to us, such as buying something new as motivation to start the process toward whatever hobby or goal we’re pursuing. This is a result of the consumer culture that we live in. Whenever we buy the thing or supplies, we get a boost of excitement and satisfaction. 

“I think that it’s really been engineered for us to seek that pleasure of acquisition, thinking that when we buy the thing, we’re actually acquiring all the value in that new pursuit or new hobby.”

But fulfilling that goal takes a lot more commitment than a monetary purchase—it takes a dedicated investment of our time. It’s not the book or object that does the work, but you!

Jillian emphasizes that there are only two ways to be successful: one, you continue to make progress, or two, you quit that pursuit while acknowledging that it’s not the best one for you.

It’s ok to acknowledge that whenever you’re pursuing may not be what’s right for you! The only way you can fail is if you stay stuck where you are. 

Fears, Inadequacy, and Time Commitment

Going deeper can be scary and painful. We may feel like our skills or talents aren’t adequate, that we don’t have the time for such a big commitment, or that we need to give up what does not work for us. When you dig deeper, you begin to find your limitations. 

All those things can be painful to acknowledge and work through when you want to be better than you are, but it’s all part of the process of digging deeper. It’s the pain of doing the hard work that propels us toward the place we want to be! If we push through the tough times, the reward will be fulfilling. 

Here’s a breakdown of the episode:

[01:10] The idea of going deeper is to focus on and improve what you already have in your life instead of adding a bunch of new things.

[02:25] We live in a consumer culture where buying things is made to look attractive. Whenever we start a new hobby or goal, buying things that get us started is fun and exciting. But our goals require more than just buying things; they require our time and commitment. 

[03:38] It’s easy for us to get stuck on the idea of the thing we want, but we have to put in the work to get results.

[05:05] There are two ways we can be successful. We either put in the work and make progress, or we can acknowledge that what we are pursuing might not be what’s best for us! The only way to fail is to stay stuck where we are. 

[6:00] Going deeper can be terrifying because it challenges us. It requires us to commit ourselves and our time to what we’re pursuing, and sometimes to acknowledge that what we’re pursuing might not work for us. 

[8:05] It can be hard to continue to do things we aren’t good at yet, but in the end, putting in the hard work pays off and we start to see the results we want.

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